


Don't Leave Me, Kid

by JosieRuby1



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Pain, Post Into Darkness, Sleepless, the doctor and his captain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieRuby1/pseuds/JosieRuby1
Summary: After Jim's return from the dead, McCoy refuses to let him be alone.





	Don't Leave Me, Kid

Leonard hadn’t slept for more than an hour or so in the week since Jim Kirk had returned to life. He would never admit it but he was terrified of sleeping, terrified of waking up and finding that Jim had gone away again. He was terrified of the other now waking up from his sleep. At work, Leonard could busy himself, it was easy, he had people to make better and on a Starship as big as the Enterprise there was no such thing as a quiet day for the Chief Medical Officer. At night it was harder. Jim Kirk only looked peaceful when he slept. He looked so small and innocent, the light splattering of freckles over his nose only accentuated that. Jim was beautiful asleep or awake. But awake, Leonard didn’t need to keep an eye on him. Awake there were hundreds of people around him who wouldn’t let any harm come to him. Asleep there was no one. Asleep Kirk was alone and could easily slip away with no one noticing. Asleep Jim could easy just not get up the next morning and it would be far too late.

Leonard was grateful for the relationship he held with Jim and Spock. It wasn’t romantic. He and Spock had no interested in romance and Jim was more of a one-night stand type of guy. It was something more than friendship but different to a romantic relationship. It was close enough that it allowed him to enter into Jim’s quarters at night without any reaction from the other. He had been doing it every night, just sitting with him for a long while and watching him to making sure he was still breathing.

“Bones, for god’s sake, go to sleep,” Jim murmured without opening his eyes.

Leonard has been watching him but he hadn’t seen the shift from sleep to awake. “Not tired, kid,” He told him with a shrug. That was a lie, exhaustion was begin to creep into every part of him but he couldn’t sleep. “Just doing my rounds.”

Jim sat up and looked at him, “Creeping into everyone’s room or am I just special?” He asked.

Leonard’s expression was unimpressed. “Don’t get cocky.”

“I’m not going to die, you know,” Jim told him, voice more serious than it ever was.

Leonard tensed, “Who said anything abo-“

Jim cute him off before he could get any further, “I’m a fit, healthy, young man, it’s going to take a lot to kill me off.”

“No,” Leonard snapped. “What you are is a damned idiot who thinks he’s invincible and you’re damn well not.”

Jim was taken aback by the sharpness of Leonard’s tone but he remained quiet. He knew Bones had been holding back and that he needed this. Leonard was holding nothing back now.

“You’re our Captain, Jim, a ship without her captain is nothing,” Leonard continued. He began pacing up and down the room, not looking at Jim, not focusing on anything. He had a lot of pent up frustration and mixed with his exhaustion it became nervous energy. “You’re only human Jim. You’re arroagnat and stupid but you’re human and that means you are breakable. I cannot fix everything. The next time you get yourself killed, I might not be able to fix it at all. And I will never forgive you if you do that to me. Jim, I-“

Leonard broke off and sat on the end of the bed with his head in his hands. Jim moved closer to him and leant against him gently.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said quietly. “But you don’t need to watch me sleep, I’m not just going to drop dead.”

“You did, Jim. You were dead!” McCoy said. “Not breathing, no heart beat, properly fucking dead! You’re only alive because I’m a damn good doctor, it was basically a miracle and I cannot-“ He shook his head, feeling hot tears filling his eyes.

“I had to protect the ship, I had to stop Khan.” Jim whispered, barely audibly.

“Protect the ship,” Leonard repeated. “Protecting the ship is more than just keeping us alive. You have to stop thinking that your life is worth less than the rest of ours.”

“As the captain-“

“As the captain,” Leonard cut in. “You have a responsibility to be alive to captain us. End of. And more than that, as my friend-“ Leonard’s voice broke the, “I can’t go through anything like that again, Jim.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim whispered, wrapping an arm around him now.

Leonard turned away, wiping his eyes furiously. “Forget it. We all know you’ll do the same next time, you’re determined to be a damned martyr.”

“It’s not like that,” Jim said, quietly.

Leonard swung his head back around to look at him, “No, you just think its better for you to die than any of the rest of us.” McCoy said and Jim had the curtesy to look down. “And you forget how much you more to the rest of us. Jesus, Jim, we love you. You never consider what your loss will do to the people of this ship. To me, to Spock, to everyone.”

Jim remained quiet for a long moment, tightening his arms around Leonard, trying to get him to reciprocate it. He had no words, he could only apologise again. “I’m sorry, Bones.” He whispered.

Leonard softened ever so slowly and turned to wrap his arms around Jim. His tears were falling freely now. He didn’t say anything more. He didn’t need to. He wouldn’t stop being scared but he had gotten out everything he had been holding back for so long.

“I am sorry, Leonard,” Jim said seriously after a long silence. “I don’t want to die but you have to understand that the rest of you _are_ more important. As the captain, as your friend, I have a duty to keep you safe.”

“I’d rather be in danger with you alive,” Leonard moment. With a small attempt at a smile, he added. “You cant leave me alone with Spock, kid.”

Jim let out a small laugh. “I’ll do my best not to.”

“That’s all I can ask,” Leonard murmured, pulling back to kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll leave you to sleep.”

Jim didn’t let go of him. “Stay. Just make sure you sleep.”

“I’ll try,” He promised.

 


End file.
